We call this the Anals, not the Annals because putties are anal. They’re always either farting, licking their behinds, or in the litter boxes going #2. Welcome to Putties for Pagans 2! We’re so glad you could make it! Do check out your other Putties for Pagans groups on other networks because there WILL be other groups on other networks. Tegwedd will be starting new groups of this franchise wherever she can. But not on PaganSpace.net and WiccanTogether because they’ve gone all fascist on us. You have to get your groups approved and they haven’t been approving groups lately so we’ll go there only to post on groups already there, not adding more groups. Our possibilities have narrowed somewhat. Tegwedd can’t go on either BlessedBeUK or Avalon because these 2 networks were the first to go fascist. It’s not a pretty sight when Pagan sites go fascist.
The putties have been extremely active this past summer. Whenever Tegwedd goes out to hang up the wash, or to take it down after it’s dry, Dr. Livingston I. (the I stands for Isis) Presume aka Princess Henrietta the Navigator wants to “help” She becomes extremely approachable and affectionate. Naturally Tegwedd has to stop what she’s doing and scritch her. It’s in the union rules. Vampirella is very funny and affectionate. That’s why we think she must’ve belonged to a family, because she is so affectionate, and when she came in, she had a flea collar on. She craves and expects human affection and attention. Of course we give it to her. She is so pretty, short white fur with beige accents. We think she’s another one of Little Boy’s progeny because she has 6 toes on each front paw. The folks at the SPCA thought she was pretty too when Tegwedd and Walt took her there to get spayed. She was very good about going into the cat carrier. She doesn’t walk; she stalks. Her eyes are blue during the day but red at night. She’s the great white huntress. She goes after butterflies and other bugs in the grass.
Who’d a thunk that Pyewacket was a secret member of the Putty IRA? Pyewacket has a game she plays; where she will cry at the door, supposedly to come in, then back away when one of us opens it to let her in. We have to coax her in. She cries to be petted, then walks away when you try to pet her. Stephen calls the crying at the door and crying to be petted the crying game which was a movie about the IRA. This could also be what the crossed paws are about. Her secret IRA name is Pyewacket O’Leary. When she isn’t plotting the demise of a country, she plays with Tegwedd’s magickal necklaces. This action is a blind to conceal her nefarious activities as secret leader of the Putty IRA.
A few days ago a stupid mouse found its way inside the house. We say stupid because that mouse had to have been able to smell that there are 8 putties living here. Putty Bear and Frakki tag teamed to catch it. They took turns grabbing it in their mouths, but that.mouse wouldn’t die. It got lost for awhile under the sofa where Tegwedd was sitting, but the tag team putties soon caught it again. Then when they lost interest in it, Stephen swept it into the dustpan, and took it to the big garbage bin outside. The mouse that wouldn’t die dropped to the bottom of the garbage bin, where it stayed, eating garbage until it either died of its injuries, or the garbage collectors picked up the garbage. Now it’s under a pile of garbage in a landfill somewhere.
Tabitha is 6 months old and funny. She barks (actually it’s more like a squeak) when you hold something above her head like a treat, her brush, or just your fingers. She squeaks most of the time, but very often, she’ll open her mouth and no sound comes out. We call it the silent miaow after the book of the same name. Right now Vampirella is playing with a dead piece of weed eater line that Tegwedd is holding with her right hand while she write with her left. All she has to do is move it a little, and Vampirella bats it around with her paws, first the right one, then the left. Suddenly Vampirella abandons it in favor of a ball, and Frakki and Tabitha have discovered the line and bat it about.
The putties teach each other things, not only behavior, but also classifying of what is a putty toy, and what isn’t. Pyewacket and Vampirella have an intense rivalry going. They’re each jealous of the other because they’re both cute. Vampirella is about 1 ½ times Pyewacket’s size, but Pyewacket isn’t intimidated in the slightest. For an adult female, Pyewacket is small, having reached her full size about a year ago. At least she’s filling out. You used to be able to feel the vertebrae on her spine, but she has flesh covering that now. She can more than hold her own in a fight with another putty. She’s a little spitfire. She also likes to bite noses. All the putties like to get into weird poses and imitate rugs. Pyewacket likes to knead people. Stephen gave her the epithet “accordion putty” because of the cute noises she makes when you gently squeeze her.
There’s a certain putty toy that Stephen, with his glaucoma” thinks is a severed Santa’s head, when in reality it’s a small stuffed Santa’s boot or Xmas stocking, Tabitha loves that toy. She bats it around, which makes it moves, which makes it alive and attractive to Tabitha. Night time lockdown is a tense time for all because they have to come in and stay in all night. It’s for their own safety and well-being but they don’t realize that, silly putties that they are, and make us call them and run around in the dark, trying to get them inside. As is almost everything for them, this is a game, and great fun. The Japanese aristocrats would understand this. At least they would have understood it during the period we round eyes like to call the Middle Ages and Renaissance. They liked to say things like “He is playing at playing music.” or “She is playing at drawing.” Tegwedd learned this about 35 years ago when she read “Shogun. Putties also like to play a game called escape. If they sense a human is going to either go outside, or come in, they dash through the open door into the great outdoors. Then they expect you the human to go around in the dark and chase them while they evade you. It can last for hours. Stephen has a tendency to tire of this game in 10 minutes. There the putties are, snug as bugs in rugs, in their small dark cozy hiding places, and Stephen is indoors, trying to catch his breath, going in and out with the inhaler, and then taking a treatment with the nebulizer.
Tell us your putty stories. The Putty Anals will continue when we do our latest installment of Magickal Familiars and their Powers.
Our friend Caitlin ni Manannan has people bringing her wood from when they prune their trees in their yards. And we are shortly going to be making Rune and Ogham sets. So if you’re local, bring us your branches. They should be at least the thickness of your thumb.
All you hard-workin’ Pagans should stand solidly with labor and against the Tea Party. As James Hoffa Jr. said, “Recall those sons of bitches! Go to your ballot boxes and vote them out.” The 75,000 Verizon workers are on strike, and we stand with them. Solidarnosc! as the Poles would say. Verizon management, all Republicans, have made 100 unreasonable demands, and refuse to negotiate, but are paying scabs to cross the picket lines, and work for them. All the workers want, is to keep what they have, a small cost of living increase in wages, their health care, and their pensions. Management wants them to pay $100 per month for health care, while they get it free. If you were thinking of getting a Verizon phone and account, don’t, and do tell them why you aren’t, that you are boycotting them. If you have a Verizon account, close it, and go to another carrier, and tell Verizon why. If you want to piss off Stephen, abuse or oppress the workers. Tell Verizon that you refuse to do business with an employer who oppresses its workers.
Soon we may be selling pendants of the lady and the tiger worked in silver. If you reading this are a silversmith please call our toll free number 1-888-611-7982, and we’ll do business. Coming soon--prints of the Lady and the Tiger by Lizet. Rune and Ogham sets worked by Stephen. Tegwedd has started to crochet cellphone holsters of her own design. They are of acrylic yarn, in assorted colors. She is obsessed right now with making holsters for the Pagan Pride Harvest Festival, but she will make you one to order for a reasonable price. She has some right now in assorted colors for just $9.95+S&H. She is working with yarn she has on hand, so a custom one will cost more because she has to obtain the yarn to make yours. It will cost $14.95 + S&H The smallest container for US priority mail is $4.95.
We are offering a new service. For just $19.95, you can have spell-coaching. We will take you through the construction and performance of a spell. It’s very simple. If you want to perform a spell but you don’t think you know what you’re doing, hire us to coach you through it. The fee is payable to our PayPal accounts, to either abbotts_inn@yahoo.com or tezra.reitan@gmail.com .
We will coach you using strong ethics. Tegwedd has a couplet she will teach you which you can add to your spell that will ensure that it is ethical. Abbott’s Inn International School of Magick is over 40 years old, having been founded in 1970 in Berkeley, CA. It went cybernetic almost 9 years ago. Lizet has been helping us put the school on a more commercial footing, and with her inspiration, Tegwedd has started packaging the classes into manageable packets. Ms. Freeman did a 3rd website for us almost a month ago at http://abbottsinn.wordpress.com. From there, by clicking on two of the graphics, you can go to either of the other two sites: http://abbottsinninternational.com/ and http://abbottsinn.com/ . You can also get to our network http://abbottsinn.ning.com/ . With her help, we also salvaged some things from his old website, including the mission statement: The Abbott’s Inn International School of Magick aims to provide a gentle nurturing environment that promotes education in both the atmosphere and the specific tools of magick. Our research arm is called the Magickal Research Institute or MRI, not to be confused with the medical MRI, or Magnetic Resonance Image, which Tegwedd had on her right ankle about 10 months ago. Stephen and Lizet came up with the name almost 9 years ago. The three of us have become a very effective working team. Stephen has his cell phone, and we are both enjoying learning how to use our cell phones. His cell phone number is 916-467-6393. He’ll have access to the Internet on that phone. He says “I’m not very good at texting because of my glaucoma, so please be gentle with me.” Don’t forget to call 888-611-7982 for all your divination, learning class, and research needs.
Showing posts with label cats. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cats. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Friday, June 3, 2011
Goodbye, Bailee, and We Go On
Early Wednesday afternoon Bailee died. We think it was rat poison. With so man cats and dogs on this block, why do they insist on using poison? It’s better to let the animals control the rat population. Another possibility is spider bite. The vet said that it was an unusual poison, because there was no bleeding of the eyes, nose or mouth. Tegwedd thinks she might have had some convulsions. She seemed to jerk a bit while Tegwedd held her, but she thought that Bailee was just trying to catch her breath. Debbie thought it might be a spider bite. Stephen found a headless rat by where he found her. Stephen and Walt buried Bailee in the very back of the backyard. We said some words over her grave, and Tegwedd planted a small walnut seedling on her grave.
Dr. Livingston is lying on her back between the back cushion and the back of the couch. She got on the arm of the couch, then when Stephen petted her, she fell backwards into the trash can.
Bailee taught the other putties the hundredth putty, where the putty will reach in with hir paw, and take out one piece of food, then eat it out of the food bin. The hundredth putty thing is a take off from the 100th monkey phenomenon. When you get to critical mass, all the putties across the street, and across the city will be doing it.
The house seems empty without Bailee, which is strange when you consider how full of stuff this house is. Pyewacket and Putty Bear like to hang out on the stove. Tegwedd said, “Do you know which song they should be singing?” “No, what?” said Stephen. “Home...home on the range,” she sang.
We’ll missed the crossed paws. It was dangerous when Bailee crossed her paws in front of her. It was a form of communication--putty sign language. We always thought that they were plotting something dastardly and nefarious. The putties sit on the TV remote and change the channel. A lot of the time they change it to Animal Planet.
Tegwedd’s ex-hubby Andy used to steer Bailee around on her back on the carpet, and she would just buzz her head off. The putties have tag team wrestling matches. They engage in putty combat whenever possible. Just a little while ago we heard some growling coming from the stove. Neither of us got up to investigate. Stephen asked, “What’s for dinner?” Tegwedd asked, “Where’s my dinner, taking a cue from what Putty Bear said when he first came in here.
We now have a pentacle of putties. After 10 pm we turn off the porch light. Tegwedd stretched out her feet on the footstool, aka the Summer Palace, and Frakki, who was already there, sniffed at her feet then attacked them. Tegwedd had Pyewacket resting on her chest, where she likes to lie, and Dr. Livingston came over and whapped the other putty for no good reason. Frakki has created her own form of divination using used drinking straws, which she scatters all over the floor. Tegwedd is working out a way of interpreting the pattern thus formed. She thinks it’ll be similar to tea leaf reading, coffee grounds reading, or bean reading, but she isn’t quite sure. We’re going to see Bailee in our peripheral vision for quite some time. The back yard is now Bailee’s yard. She loved the yard. She liked to look at it from the back porch. She also liked to look at the roses from the window. Tegwedd used to sing “Bailee go ‘round the Roses” (a take off of the old song “Sally go ‘round the Roses) to her. Bailee loved it when we sang to her. All the putties love to be sung to. It doesn’t matter what kind of voice you have, or whether you can carry a tune. They love the attention. Tegwedd also sang “Hey there Bailee Girl” to her. Bailee was 24 lbs. of comedy and terror, emphasis on the comedy. She had many names, Bailee Beasely Beastly, Triple B Threat, 3B, Ma Bailee, and Machine Gun Bailee. But we never called her Late for Dinner. Watch your putties. Maybe get them in at 6 pm like we do. Tegwedd’s face is now being licked by Pyewacket. She’ll give you 2 hours to quit scritching her. Tegwedd is surrounded by female putties. Dr. Livingston is at her left shoulder on the back of the couch, Pyewacket is still on her chest, and Frakki is on the footstool at her feet. Pyewacket is the putty raptor. She is really aggressive when it comes to cold cuts. She’ll bite your finger if it’s near a piece of salami. Putty Bear has gotten huge, but what comes out of his mouth but squeaks. We’re seeing if Cirque de Soleil would like to have Dr. Livingston for awhile as a contortionist. But these putties can form very regal poses then they’ll lie on their backs with their paws in the air in these hilarious poses. They’re very tough putties, you know. They can lick anyone in the house, and often do. But they aren’t good watch dogs. Worst they can do to you is lick you to death or bite your nose. The closest they get to watch putties is that we watch them.
Putty Bear is very very funny. He knows when you’re getting ready to go out, and he’s right at the door to escape when you leave. Nor can he be gotten back inside quickly or easily. He’s become very predictable as to where he goes when he’s not supposed to go out. He can be found on the side of the house, curled up into a ball, forming his very own miniature crop circle. Boy is he going to be mad when Stephen weed eats that long grass. He’ll have to find another spot to press down. Since Bailee’s death, the other putties have, in our opinion, become more affectionate. Last night Pyewacket gave Tegwedd’s face a thorough bath, focusing on her nose. She spent a good part of the evening and this morning on Tegwedd’s chest. Like the others. she’s a tough putty, and can lick anyone in the house. When you’re petting her, she’ll give you about 2 hours to stop, and often does. Putty Bear used to lose their fights, but since he’s gotten so huge, he’s won 3 fights against Pyewacket so far.
The Sheriff’s Dept. is investigating the poisoning, and Stephen will contact the SPCA. Even though Dr. Livingston is a full adult, she is still a shoulder putty. Most shoulder putties grow out of it, but she hasn’t. When Stephen brought in Putty Bear, Dr. Livingston was on his shoulder. As has been mentioned before, the surviving putties make up a pentacle of putties. Let’s hear it for Magickal Pentacle Putty Power! Inky, our panther putty, is the elder now. I call him Inka Dinka Doodle Doo. The two males are not related to the three females. Inky is Tegwedd’s boy friend now. She told the Queen that her boyfriend was short and black. The Queen guessed right away that Tegwedd was talking about a putty. When Tegwedd first moved in, Inky lowered her blood pressure 11 points. Inky is 1st putty, who lived in pits and learned to use his claws in self defense. That’s an adaptation of a FireSign Theatre routine.
Here is a poem that Tegwedd wrote to Bailee:
Ode to Bailee
Bailee, you were so sweet
You made the birds go tweet tweet
Loving, you gave us two hours
To stop petting you among the flowers
You liked to stare at the roses
And bite us on our noses
Your purr was very loud
Even though going out was not allowed
You were unbowed
By your weight and long fur
Very seldom did you go grrr!
We love you very much
You thrilled to our very touch
You taught them all the hundredth putty
Even though you were mutty
Your crossed paws signalled danger
Known by us but not a stranger
When you’re not near us, we’re blue
O Bailee we love you!
To sum this whole thing up, we miss Bailee, but the rest of the putties are doing their best to console us for her loss. We noe have a pentacle of putties that keep our stress level down by making us laugh at their comical antics. When one of them tries to jump up on something like the video tape cabinet or coffee table and misses, falling down in a most undignified manner, they try to recapture their dignity while we quote the immortal words of our favorite stand up philosopher, the late great George Carlin, “I meant to do that. I’ve been planning it all week. I’ll be here till Thursday.”
Dr. Livingston is lying on her back between the back cushion and the back of the couch. She got on the arm of the couch, then when Stephen petted her, she fell backwards into the trash can.
Bailee taught the other putties the hundredth putty, where the putty will reach in with hir paw, and take out one piece of food, then eat it out of the food bin. The hundredth putty thing is a take off from the 100th monkey phenomenon. When you get to critical mass, all the putties across the street, and across the city will be doing it.
The house seems empty without Bailee, which is strange when you consider how full of stuff this house is. Pyewacket and Putty Bear like to hang out on the stove. Tegwedd said, “Do you know which song they should be singing?” “No, what?” said Stephen. “Home...home on the range,” she sang.
We’ll missed the crossed paws. It was dangerous when Bailee crossed her paws in front of her. It was a form of communication--putty sign language. We always thought that they were plotting something dastardly and nefarious. The putties sit on the TV remote and change the channel. A lot of the time they change it to Animal Planet.
Tegwedd’s ex-hubby Andy used to steer Bailee around on her back on the carpet, and she would just buzz her head off. The putties have tag team wrestling matches. They engage in putty combat whenever possible. Just a little while ago we heard some growling coming from the stove. Neither of us got up to investigate. Stephen asked, “What’s for dinner?” Tegwedd asked, “Where’s my dinner, taking a cue from what Putty Bear said when he first came in here.
We now have a pentacle of putties. After 10 pm we turn off the porch light. Tegwedd stretched out her feet on the footstool, aka the Summer Palace, and Frakki, who was already there, sniffed at her feet then attacked them. Tegwedd had Pyewacket resting on her chest, where she likes to lie, and Dr. Livingston came over and whapped the other putty for no good reason. Frakki has created her own form of divination using used drinking straws, which she scatters all over the floor. Tegwedd is working out a way of interpreting the pattern thus formed. She thinks it’ll be similar to tea leaf reading, coffee grounds reading, or bean reading, but she isn’t quite sure. We’re going to see Bailee in our peripheral vision for quite some time. The back yard is now Bailee’s yard. She loved the yard. She liked to look at it from the back porch. She also liked to look at the roses from the window. Tegwedd used to sing “Bailee go ‘round the Roses” (a take off of the old song “Sally go ‘round the Roses) to her. Bailee loved it when we sang to her. All the putties love to be sung to. It doesn’t matter what kind of voice you have, or whether you can carry a tune. They love the attention. Tegwedd also sang “Hey there Bailee Girl” to her. Bailee was 24 lbs. of comedy and terror, emphasis on the comedy. She had many names, Bailee Beasely Beastly, Triple B Threat, 3B, Ma Bailee, and Machine Gun Bailee. But we never called her Late for Dinner. Watch your putties. Maybe get them in at 6 pm like we do. Tegwedd’s face is now being licked by Pyewacket. She’ll give you 2 hours to quit scritching her. Tegwedd is surrounded by female putties. Dr. Livingston is at her left shoulder on the back of the couch, Pyewacket is still on her chest, and Frakki is on the footstool at her feet. Pyewacket is the putty raptor. She is really aggressive when it comes to cold cuts. She’ll bite your finger if it’s near a piece of salami. Putty Bear has gotten huge, but what comes out of his mouth but squeaks. We’re seeing if Cirque de Soleil would like to have Dr. Livingston for awhile as a contortionist. But these putties can form very regal poses then they’ll lie on their backs with their paws in the air in these hilarious poses. They’re very tough putties, you know. They can lick anyone in the house, and often do. But they aren’t good watch dogs. Worst they can do to you is lick you to death or bite your nose. The closest they get to watch putties is that we watch them.
Putty Bear is very very funny. He knows when you’re getting ready to go out, and he’s right at the door to escape when you leave. Nor can he be gotten back inside quickly or easily. He’s become very predictable as to where he goes when he’s not supposed to go out. He can be found on the side of the house, curled up into a ball, forming his very own miniature crop circle. Boy is he going to be mad when Stephen weed eats that long grass. He’ll have to find another spot to press down. Since Bailee’s death, the other putties have, in our opinion, become more affectionate. Last night Pyewacket gave Tegwedd’s face a thorough bath, focusing on her nose. She spent a good part of the evening and this morning on Tegwedd’s chest. Like the others. she’s a tough putty, and can lick anyone in the house. When you’re petting her, she’ll give you about 2 hours to stop, and often does. Putty Bear used to lose their fights, but since he’s gotten so huge, he’s won 3 fights against Pyewacket so far.
The Sheriff’s Dept. is investigating the poisoning, and Stephen will contact the SPCA. Even though Dr. Livingston is a full adult, she is still a shoulder putty. Most shoulder putties grow out of it, but she hasn’t. When Stephen brought in Putty Bear, Dr. Livingston was on his shoulder. As has been mentioned before, the surviving putties make up a pentacle of putties. Let’s hear it for Magickal Pentacle Putty Power! Inky, our panther putty, is the elder now. I call him Inka Dinka Doodle Doo. The two males are not related to the three females. Inky is Tegwedd’s boy friend now. She told the Queen that her boyfriend was short and black. The Queen guessed right away that Tegwedd was talking about a putty. When Tegwedd first moved in, Inky lowered her blood pressure 11 points. Inky is 1st putty, who lived in pits and learned to use his claws in self defense. That’s an adaptation of a FireSign Theatre routine.
Here is a poem that Tegwedd wrote to Bailee:
Ode to Bailee
Bailee, you were so sweet
You made the birds go tweet tweet
Loving, you gave us two hours
To stop petting you among the flowers
You liked to stare at the roses
And bite us on our noses
Your purr was very loud
Even though going out was not allowed
You were unbowed
By your weight and long fur
Very seldom did you go grrr!
We love you very much
You thrilled to our very touch
You taught them all the hundredth putty
Even though you were mutty
Your crossed paws signalled danger
Known by us but not a stranger
When you’re not near us, we’re blue
O Bailee we love you!
To sum this whole thing up, we miss Bailee, but the rest of the putties are doing their best to console us for her loss. We noe have a pentacle of putties that keep our stress level down by making us laugh at their comical antics. When one of them tries to jump up on something like the video tape cabinet or coffee table and misses, falling down in a most undignified manner, they try to recapture their dignity while we quote the immortal words of our favorite stand up philosopher, the late great George Carlin, “I meant to do that. I’ve been planning it all week. I’ll be here till Thursday.”
Monday, August 9, 2010
Putties & the Firesign Theatre
Welcome to the Order of Humor Magick 8! We’re glad you could make it! Be sure and check out the other Order of Humor Magick groups on other networks. This group is where we Pagans can our humorous experiences with each other. This is either a sister or mother group to our other comedy groups: Paranoia for Pagans, Dead Parrot Fan Club, Putties for Pagans, and Geriatrics for Pagans. We realize that because so many unfunny things have happened to us, it might be difficult to find something humorous, but we’ll try. How about the way I broke my ankle? By sitting on it. Looking back on it, even though it is painful at times, I can now find the humor in the situation. At least this time they didn’t ignore my ankle in favor of my heart, which is fine. I have a good, strong heart. The sentence “We’re glad you could make it!” is a direct quote from the Firesign Theatre’s radio program, which they did in the late ‘60s to the early ‘70s.
Humor is very important to both of us in our magick, and in our daily lives. I literally wouldn’t be alive without it, and neither would Stephen. Of late, most of our humor has derived from our putties. Their antics send us into titters and guffaws, if not hourly, then at least daily. They’re individuals, except for Frikki and Frakki, who we still can’t tell apart. We just call them each Frikki-Frakki. Putties don’t come when they’re called anyway, except when you have food for them. “They come for me, I just say Putties in a high pitched voice. Putties will get you though times of no money better than money will get you through times of no putties.” I can testify to that. I had to go through several years of no putties before I moved here. Our putties have forces of Will. Pyewacket moved in here saying “I live here. This is MY house. These are MY humans.” Pyewacket is an ancient Witch’s familiar name which means “lively spirit.” It was featured in “Bell, Book and Candle.” You can Google it. You might be able to see it on the Internet. But it ranks as one of the better movies there are about Witches and witchcraft, besides “Practical Magic? And “I Married a Witch,” which was, by the way the basis for the popular sitcom “Bewitched”.
By the way, this may be off-topic, but do you know where the term “yarn” as a synonym for story or tale came from? In the olden days, before all our modern electronics, there were storytellers. In some cases, they were full-fledged bards. In other cases, they were just shanachies or storytellers. The women of the household would be spinning, either with a drop spindle or one of those new fangled spinning wheels they came up with a couple hundred years ago. A really good spinner could spin an entire bobbin of yarn whilst the shanachie told one story, hence the term yarn for an often tall tale.
Stephen says it’s funny how many ways SSI claims they’re helping us, when in reality they’re just screwing us over. I explained to him the real meaning of service as in what a bull does to a cow. This may clarify for you what the word “service” means in “Internal Revenue Service.”
If you’ve been following our groups for any length of time at all, you doubtless know about vaudeville occultism. If I’m wrong, and you just joined us, here is whT IT IS. Vaudeville occultism is where a person or persons suddenly burst into song at random moments. This is usually because a given moment or occasion reminds us of a song. These attempts at singing are often off-key, either accidentally or deliberately, just to be funny. If I weren’t encumbered with this damned non-weightbearing cast and a healing broken ankle, I would
For 7 months, from November until June, I was missing one of the two handsets of my main telephone (landline). One day in early June, whilst at my computer I happened to catch a glint of silver in the space between my mattress and the lip of the bed. I picked it up, and lo and behold, it was my missing handset! I went to the doorway of Stephen’s room, and said,
“Frog, this is just gonna kill you. Guess what I just found. It’s charging now.”
“What?”
“You know that handset for my phone that Tina spirited away last November?”
“You found it?”
“Yes!”
The latest thing that Tina has spirited away is the charger for my cell phone and now the cell phone itself. There’s a charger here, but it won’t fit into my cell phone, and my rollover minutes are adding up. I have over 7000 minutes added up, and I’d like to use some of them, if it’s all right with Tina. What has occurred to you that could be considered humorous? Keep in mind that both Stephen and I have rather dark senses of humor, what is commonly known as gallows humor. Some say our senses of humor are twisted, but you walk a few miles in our shoes (yeah, all three of them) and see how straight your sense of humor is.
There is a putty curse of return on this place. It didn’t end with Pyewacket coming in and saying “This is MY house. I live here. These are MY humans.” A little creature about 8 or 9 months old has also made that announcement, with the added question, “Where’s my dinner?” We call him the Grey Bandit. He belongs to the guy next door, but he thinks he belongs here at Puttyhaven. Go figure. He gets along with all the other putties, even Inky likes him, and Inky, my boyfriend, likes very few other putties. What other putties will find their way to our door or window? But Pyewacket attacks him. She’s the one he’s the most like, so I guess she sees him as a rival and a threat. From time to time there is what we call a putty invasion, where a whole bunch of putties come in all at once and disrupt things. The putty mantra is “Where’s my food?”
I store my remotes and a number of CDs in a vitamin box. Bailee constantly tries to lie in the box even though the box is too small for her. Stephen is reciting all this to me whilst sitting in my wheel chair. The female cats are playing with their balls. We thought for over 9 months that Dr. Livingston was male, but I discovered about 3 months ago that she was female. Then when Oreo had her 2nd litter and refused to nurse them after 3 weeks Dr. Livingston stepped up and nursed them. But what did she have to nurse them with? Your guess is as good as mine. We know she wasn’t pregnant, because we had her fixed.
Dr. Livingston is part eagle; she has an eyrie on top of one of my book cases, and will dive bomb you if you’re not careful. The putties knocked the balls out of the round green thing, so Stephen had to put another ball in there. They’re going apes*** over the pink ball, and fighting over it. Bailee Beasley Beastly the Triple B Threat can mimic a beached whale. She’s 25 lbs of comedy and terror emphasis on the comedy part. Frikki-Frakki are a couple of funny putties that we cannot tell apart. At least one of them is a master farter.
We make them bark by talking to them in a high pitched voice, and I usually give them something for barking but Stephen is sadistic, so he doesn’t. The rule is that if there is a putty on your body, you can’t move or go anywhere. Sometimes he will be reading a book in bed, puttied and some important thing will come up on the computer and he’ll take the putty with him when he goes to the computer, because he’s scared of their retribution should he break the rule about moving when puttied. Stephen is an advocate for putty rights. He thinks they should have the right to vote. (You knew he was crazy didn’t you?)
Then there’s the Necroputtycon: their book, “The Way of the Paw”, sacred to the Goddess Bast. Pyewacket is a tough putty, she can lick anyone in the house. Stephen would like to investigate if they lost the other ball because they’re being quiet now, but he can’t because he’s puttied. One of the descriptive mantras about them is “Little pieces of putty crap.” We also sing “How much is that putty in the window?” Charles Hixon introduced me to “Pye, pye, Pyewacket, pye pye Pyewacket chocolate covered Pyewacket! Yum yum yum!”
My boyfriend Inky is “First Putty, who lived in pits, and learned to use his claws in self-defense.” This is a take off on a Firesign Theatre routine. If you ever want a putty to pay strict attention to you, eat in front of hir, especially meat. Man I had two putties paying attention to me. Then when I was through, I put the plate aside so they could lick it. Were they happy then!. One thing about putties; you can make up any stories you want about them and they don’t mind. As long as you feed and water them, provide a clean litter box, and scritch them frequently, you can make up any stories you want.
I have a friend in Houston, TX who has two dogs who are scared silly of thunderstorms. Whenever there is one, and there are lots in Texas, they cry to come in, and lean up against Di and shiver. Rex will bring Di’s room mate her socks if he thinks he can get a treat for them, and the other one will try to rub his backside up against anything he can in the house, but principally Di’s leg. So any pet can be funny. Send us your pet stories, especially the funny ones.
Stephen needs help in finding things that are funny, because life right now does not readily lend itself to humor. He got a real kick out of realizing that Judy Tenuda is still alive, kicking, and still looks hot. She also still calls herself “The Goddess.” We are both big fans of hers, since she is the closest thing we have to a Pagan comic on the airwaves. He wants to see her do an HBO or Showtime special so it won’t be censored. I have a friend who reminds me a lot of her, except that Judy is dark haired and my friend is blonde.
. The Firesign Theatre is alive, well, and on the internet. I looked up the Firesign Theatre this morning. Their website is http://www.firesigntheatre.com/ . Their show can be heard through webstreaming on www.wfmu.org.
A month ago, I broke my right ankle. It was in a gallstone attack. I went to the bathroom, and was going to go to my room again when I was hit by a wave of pain so severe that I passed out. I must’ve sat on my ankle hard because when I tried to get up, my ankle went crunch! I sank down on my rear again against the door. Stephen and I had a dialogue:.”Are you all right?” he asked.
“No, I’m in a lot of pain.”
“I’m calling 911.”
“Ok.”
He asked me the questions the dispatcher asked him. I answered them. At length they arrived. I took my book and my purse with me. We went to Kaiser Morse hospital. I gave them the address. They knew how to get there. We arrived after a few minutes. They admitted me, and the next morning, my ankle was operated on. Then I spent from then until Wednesday the 7th in the hospital. I came home, and am now in full recovery. Three weeks ago I got into my room, and finally got access to my computer. Will give you updates as we proceed. Update: two weeks ago I got out of the house. My physical therapist taught me how to hop down the steps using my aluminum walker. I used it to go to the liturgy meeting, and then Sunday I went to our Grove’s Lughnasadh ritual, where I donated a dollar, and offered some whiskey to Miach for my own healing, the healing of my friend Snoodlady, who was in the hospital with a serious sinus infection that gave her double vision and vertigo, and my friend Cherye who has a nasty staph infection in her legs and feet. On two fronts there were immediate results. Snoodlady felt well enough to come home on Monday, and I learned to carry my walker whilst in my wheelchair. My physical therapist taught me some exercises to do in my wheelchair, and I worked myself up to 32 of each. The last one I learned was the wheelchair pushup. I did 32 of them today, for which I am very proud of myself. Stephen thought that you should know. ..
I was right about August being my month. August 20th is my surgery date, with July 13th being my pre-op appointment with the anesthesiologist. So I am praying for quick and safe healing.
We need paid readings and donations. Send donations to my Paypal account tezra.reitan@gmail.com and to Stephen’s email account at any of his email addies. If I get $5 donations, I shall send the donor a copy of one of my ebooks. For $20, you can have all five ebooks.
Remember, if someone from a Ning network asks you to pay, say “No way!” The only way this’ll work is if we all stick together and call the a**holes on their BS. We have to be willing to walk away from our networks, because they are counting on people being scared to walk away from their networks. This guy Jason Rosenthal is a bully, and there’s only one way to deal with a bully, and that is, to stand up to him.
Stephen was pretty pissed off that he would need only $87 to get back his long distance and preserve his DSL. He managed to scrape the $87 together. You guys have not been doing your part. It’s not as though he’s begging for hand outs. He is willing to return value for value given. Just three readings would have got him out of this predicament. Three readings or classes would do it. And $32 flat for a reading or a class is really a bargain. Ordinarily he charges $32 an hour, so $32 flat is a very good deal.
Back before my accident, Stephen was able to scrape $50 together to pay our friend to put our website together, and she’s working on it now. I’m looking forward to seeing it. It should be very impressive. Fear not, we’ll keep you abreast of all developments on this front. Abbott’s Inn International School of Magick will then be on the internet map, so to speak, in a big way.
Inquiring minds want to know: How do we add music to our sites? Please let us know. The person who helps us do that earns a reading on webcam on the popular IM clients. The person who helps us establish ourselves on the Paganspace.net chat client earns a reading. We’re using readings as currency here because we have no other medium to use for an incentive. All the money we make goes for paying the bills of bare-bones living.
Be sure and check out Fantasy for Pagans. Our next group here on Facebook will be Dragon’s Lair Coven 4.. Watch for it! Join it!
Humor is very important to both of us in our magick, and in our daily lives. I literally wouldn’t be alive without it, and neither would Stephen. Of late, most of our humor has derived from our putties. Their antics send us into titters and guffaws, if not hourly, then at least daily. They’re individuals, except for Frikki and Frakki, who we still can’t tell apart. We just call them each Frikki-Frakki. Putties don’t come when they’re called anyway, except when you have food for them. “They come for me, I just say Putties in a high pitched voice. Putties will get you though times of no money better than money will get you through times of no putties.” I can testify to that. I had to go through several years of no putties before I moved here. Our putties have forces of Will. Pyewacket moved in here saying “I live here. This is MY house. These are MY humans.” Pyewacket is an ancient Witch’s familiar name which means “lively spirit.” It was featured in “Bell, Book and Candle.” You can Google it. You might be able to see it on the Internet. But it ranks as one of the better movies there are about Witches and witchcraft, besides “Practical Magic? And “I Married a Witch,” which was, by the way the basis for the popular sitcom “Bewitched”.
By the way, this may be off-topic, but do you know where the term “yarn” as a synonym for story or tale came from? In the olden days, before all our modern electronics, there were storytellers. In some cases, they were full-fledged bards. In other cases, they were just shanachies or storytellers. The women of the household would be spinning, either with a drop spindle or one of those new fangled spinning wheels they came up with a couple hundred years ago. A really good spinner could spin an entire bobbin of yarn whilst the shanachie told one story, hence the term yarn for an often tall tale.
Stephen says it’s funny how many ways SSI claims they’re helping us, when in reality they’re just screwing us over. I explained to him the real meaning of service as in what a bull does to a cow. This may clarify for you what the word “service” means in “Internal Revenue Service.”
If you’ve been following our groups for any length of time at all, you doubtless know about vaudeville occultism. If I’m wrong, and you just joined us, here is whT IT IS. Vaudeville occultism is where a person or persons suddenly burst into song at random moments. This is usually because a given moment or occasion reminds us of a song. These attempts at singing are often off-key, either accidentally or deliberately, just to be funny. If I weren’t encumbered with this damned non-weightbearing cast and a healing broken ankle, I would
For 7 months, from November until June, I was missing one of the two handsets of my main telephone (landline). One day in early June, whilst at my computer I happened to catch a glint of silver in the space between my mattress and the lip of the bed. I picked it up, and lo and behold, it was my missing handset! I went to the doorway of Stephen’s room, and said,
“Frog, this is just gonna kill you. Guess what I just found. It’s charging now.”
“What?”
“You know that handset for my phone that Tina spirited away last November?”
“You found it?”
“Yes!”
The latest thing that Tina has spirited away is the charger for my cell phone and now the cell phone itself. There’s a charger here, but it won’t fit into my cell phone, and my rollover minutes are adding up. I have over 7000 minutes added up, and I’d like to use some of them, if it’s all right with Tina. What has occurred to you that could be considered humorous? Keep in mind that both Stephen and I have rather dark senses of humor, what is commonly known as gallows humor. Some say our senses of humor are twisted, but you walk a few miles in our shoes (yeah, all three of them) and see how straight your sense of humor is.
There is a putty curse of return on this place. It didn’t end with Pyewacket coming in and saying “This is MY house. I live here. These are MY humans.” A little creature about 8 or 9 months old has also made that announcement, with the added question, “Where’s my dinner?” We call him the Grey Bandit. He belongs to the guy next door, but he thinks he belongs here at Puttyhaven. Go figure. He gets along with all the other putties, even Inky likes him, and Inky, my boyfriend, likes very few other putties. What other putties will find their way to our door or window? But Pyewacket attacks him. She’s the one he’s the most like, so I guess she sees him as a rival and a threat. From time to time there is what we call a putty invasion, where a whole bunch of putties come in all at once and disrupt things. The putty mantra is “Where’s my food?”
I store my remotes and a number of CDs in a vitamin box. Bailee constantly tries to lie in the box even though the box is too small for her. Stephen is reciting all this to me whilst sitting in my wheel chair. The female cats are playing with their balls. We thought for over 9 months that Dr. Livingston was male, but I discovered about 3 months ago that she was female. Then when Oreo had her 2nd litter and refused to nurse them after 3 weeks Dr. Livingston stepped up and nursed them. But what did she have to nurse them with? Your guess is as good as mine. We know she wasn’t pregnant, because we had her fixed.
Dr. Livingston is part eagle; she has an eyrie on top of one of my book cases, and will dive bomb you if you’re not careful. The putties knocked the balls out of the round green thing, so Stephen had to put another ball in there. They’re going apes*** over the pink ball, and fighting over it. Bailee Beasley Beastly the Triple B Threat can mimic a beached whale. She’s 25 lbs of comedy and terror emphasis on the comedy part. Frikki-Frakki are a couple of funny putties that we cannot tell apart. At least one of them is a master farter.
We make them bark by talking to them in a high pitched voice, and I usually give them something for barking but Stephen is sadistic, so he doesn’t. The rule is that if there is a putty on your body, you can’t move or go anywhere. Sometimes he will be reading a book in bed, puttied and some important thing will come up on the computer and he’ll take the putty with him when he goes to the computer, because he’s scared of their retribution should he break the rule about moving when puttied. Stephen is an advocate for putty rights. He thinks they should have the right to vote. (You knew he was crazy didn’t you?)
Then there’s the Necroputtycon: their book, “The Way of the Paw”, sacred to the Goddess Bast. Pyewacket is a tough putty, she can lick anyone in the house. Stephen would like to investigate if they lost the other ball because they’re being quiet now, but he can’t because he’s puttied. One of the descriptive mantras about them is “Little pieces of putty crap.” We also sing “How much is that putty in the window?” Charles Hixon introduced me to “Pye, pye, Pyewacket, pye pye Pyewacket chocolate covered Pyewacket! Yum yum yum!”
My boyfriend Inky is “First Putty, who lived in pits, and learned to use his claws in self-defense.” This is a take off on a Firesign Theatre routine. If you ever want a putty to pay strict attention to you, eat in front of hir, especially meat. Man I had two putties paying attention to me. Then when I was through, I put the plate aside so they could lick it. Were they happy then!. One thing about putties; you can make up any stories you want about them and they don’t mind. As long as you feed and water them, provide a clean litter box, and scritch them frequently, you can make up any stories you want.
I have a friend in Houston, TX who has two dogs who are scared silly of thunderstorms. Whenever there is one, and there are lots in Texas, they cry to come in, and lean up against Di and shiver. Rex will bring Di’s room mate her socks if he thinks he can get a treat for them, and the other one will try to rub his backside up against anything he can in the house, but principally Di’s leg. So any pet can be funny. Send us your pet stories, especially the funny ones.
Stephen needs help in finding things that are funny, because life right now does not readily lend itself to humor. He got a real kick out of realizing that Judy Tenuda is still alive, kicking, and still looks hot. She also still calls herself “The Goddess.” We are both big fans of hers, since she is the closest thing we have to a Pagan comic on the airwaves. He wants to see her do an HBO or Showtime special so it won’t be censored. I have a friend who reminds me a lot of her, except that Judy is dark haired and my friend is blonde.
. The Firesign Theatre is alive, well, and on the internet. I looked up the Firesign Theatre this morning. Their website is http://www.firesigntheatre.com/ . Their show can be heard through webstreaming on www.wfmu.org.
A month ago, I broke my right ankle. It was in a gallstone attack. I went to the bathroom, and was going to go to my room again when I was hit by a wave of pain so severe that I passed out. I must’ve sat on my ankle hard because when I tried to get up, my ankle went crunch! I sank down on my rear again against the door. Stephen and I had a dialogue:.”Are you all right?” he asked.
“No, I’m in a lot of pain.”
“I’m calling 911.”
“Ok.”
He asked me the questions the dispatcher asked him. I answered them. At length they arrived. I took my book and my purse with me. We went to Kaiser Morse hospital. I gave them the address. They knew how to get there. We arrived after a few minutes. They admitted me, and the next morning, my ankle was operated on. Then I spent from then until Wednesday the 7th in the hospital. I came home, and am now in full recovery. Three weeks ago I got into my room, and finally got access to my computer. Will give you updates as we proceed. Update: two weeks ago I got out of the house. My physical therapist taught me how to hop down the steps using my aluminum walker. I used it to go to the liturgy meeting, and then Sunday I went to our Grove’s Lughnasadh ritual, where I donated a dollar, and offered some whiskey to Miach for my own healing, the healing of my friend Snoodlady, who was in the hospital with a serious sinus infection that gave her double vision and vertigo, and my friend Cherye who has a nasty staph infection in her legs and feet. On two fronts there were immediate results. Snoodlady felt well enough to come home on Monday, and I learned to carry my walker whilst in my wheelchair. My physical therapist taught me some exercises to do in my wheelchair, and I worked myself up to 32 of each. The last one I learned was the wheelchair pushup. I did 32 of them today, for which I am very proud of myself. Stephen thought that you should know. ..
I was right about August being my month. August 20th is my surgery date, with July 13th being my pre-op appointment with the anesthesiologist. So I am praying for quick and safe healing.
We need paid readings and donations. Send donations to my Paypal account tezra.reitan@gmail.com and to Stephen’s email account at any of his email addies. If I get $5 donations, I shall send the donor a copy of one of my ebooks. For $20, you can have all five ebooks.
Remember, if someone from a Ning network asks you to pay, say “No way!” The only way this’ll work is if we all stick together and call the a**holes on their BS. We have to be willing to walk away from our networks, because they are counting on people being scared to walk away from their networks. This guy Jason Rosenthal is a bully, and there’s only one way to deal with a bully, and that is, to stand up to him.
Stephen was pretty pissed off that he would need only $87 to get back his long distance and preserve his DSL. He managed to scrape the $87 together. You guys have not been doing your part. It’s not as though he’s begging for hand outs. He is willing to return value for value given. Just three readings would have got him out of this predicament. Three readings or classes would do it. And $32 flat for a reading or a class is really a bargain. Ordinarily he charges $32 an hour, so $32 flat is a very good deal.
Back before my accident, Stephen was able to scrape $50 together to pay our friend to put our website together, and she’s working on it now. I’m looking forward to seeing it. It should be very impressive. Fear not, we’ll keep you abreast of all developments on this front. Abbott’s Inn International School of Magick will then be on the internet map, so to speak, in a big way.
Inquiring minds want to know: How do we add music to our sites? Please let us know. The person who helps us do that earns a reading on webcam on the popular IM clients. The person who helps us establish ourselves on the Paganspace.net chat client earns a reading. We’re using readings as currency here because we have no other medium to use for an incentive. All the money we make goes for paying the bills of bare-bones living.
Be sure and check out Fantasy for Pagans. Our next group here on Facebook will be Dragon’s Lair Coven 4.. Watch for it! Join it!
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